No matter how old you are, if you have kids, the job of a parent never ends. We must grow and learn in each stage of life how to lead and love our kids. Their health and well-being are the legacy we leave behind.
When I was a kid, I used to be afraid of everything! Snakes, darkness, storms, elevators – you get the idea. I was a total wimp! Rumor has it that if there was a big storm that I’d go to my youngest sister and jump in bed with her. Ok, that’s actually a true story. But it was just because I didn’t want her to be scared. I swear!
Fortunately for me (and my sister!), I’ve grown up a lot and I’m not afraid of most of the things on that list anymore. Not as much anyways. But as my girls grow up, I’m starting to hear and see some of the same fearful tendencies in them and kids their age.
In fact, one of our nieces (who is 9 years old) stayed the night recently and was telling me about a scary incident at her house. She recalled the events to me in clear detail. They live out in the country with no houses around them and she and her siblings were home alone. A car pulled up their long driveway and they saw that there were two younger-looking guys in the car who just sat in the driveway for a long time and stared at the house. The dog was going crazy. The kids were panicking and called their parents. All of them were all afraid.
The next day, one of my daughters was telling me about her and her cousin’s late-night conversations. She told how our niece is now afraid to be alone (with her siblings) while their parents are gone and how she is concerned about bad things happening. Fear has taken hold of her.
As parents, what can we say to help our kids (or grandkids) deal with fear? Here are a few ideas. (more…)
Evil. Pure evil. That is the only way to describe the events that occurred on April 20th, 1999, at Columbine High School. That is the appropriate description of the event and that was the character of those who carried it out.
On that unfathomable day, 13 lives were lost and 24 others were injured. The shooters, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, committed suicide and ended their own lives after ruining so many others.
For many of us, the story ends there. A tragic, unforgettable event that sickens, disturbs, and pains our hearts. But for Sue Klebold, the story never ends. It will never go away.
Sue is the mother of one of the mass-murderers from the Columbine shooting. Her son was Dylan Klebold. In this short, but powerful video that follows, Sue tells the story of that event from a mother’s perspective. She does not ask for your sympathy or excuse anything that her son has done.
However, she is still his mother. She, like the parents who lost their children because of her son’s cowardly act, still grieves. When Dylan killed those innocent people that day he also killed a large part of so many others. His parents included.
I do not have any clever take-aways from the story you will hear. Only more questions. (more…)
How to parent your children so you don't lose your mind!
“I give up!” That’s what we all want to scream sometimes as parents. But that’s not really an option, is it? Not for you and I, anyways. We are blessed if we have children and we want to be the best parents we can be. We want more for them and hope that they’ll turn out better than us. But let’s be honest: it isn’t easy, is it?! Some days, we just feel like we’re going to lose our minds and giving up doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
I know that, for my wife and I, there have been many times that we have looked at each other and just had to laugh and say, “We are TOTALLY screwing these kids up! We have no idea what we’re doing!” We sometimes wonder where the rule book is that you can flip open and turn to the page that shows you exactly what to do and exactly what to say to handle each situation that we’re faced with. But sadly, that book doesn’t exist.
But there is hope.
In one of the most influential and helpful books that I have ever read, authors Foster Cline and Jim Fay’s book, titled: Parenting with Love and Logic, the suggestion to “give up” is mentioned and inferred throughout. But probably not in ways that you’re thinking. Once you hear their advice, it makes perfect sense.
In today’s blog, I want to highlight some of the advice that they’ve given and some areas that we are trying to learn to “give up” in our parenting. Hopefully some of these ideas may also help you so that you don’t go crazy and lose your mind!